'UNICorn Classic'

I have a running joke with UNICorn. He has an interesting taste in movies. Whenever he would rent a movie and invite people over in the past, I would end up fairly disappointed in the movie. I would coin these movies 'UNICorn Classics' many times, as would RoopDogg (this was back when they were roommates). UNICorn's movie picks were not always bad. There have been movies that UNICorn picked out that I've thoroughly enjoyed. Sideways is one movie that comes to mind.

I bring up this story because TheCrazyCanuck rented a movie today that was highly recommended by her boss. It's called The River King. It's about a guy investigating a suicide of a kid at a nearby private school (I think it was a college, but it was never explicitly said). The cop is convinced that the death was not a suicide, but he was getting no cooperation because the school was paying the police department to sweep the incident (and all similar incidents) under the rug and not bring shame to the school. Of course, there had to be a forced and non-sensical romantic subplot that did not fit the rest of the story and the cop who kept pursuing the investigation was fighting internal demons related to his brother's suicide many years earlier (which was not related to this school). The plot was terrible and the acting was even worse.

About thirty minutes into the movie, I told TheCrazyCanuck that this movie was a perfect 'UNICorn Classic'. In true Gary fashion, I continued to bitch about how bad the movie was for the next hour. However, I kept watching because I figured the end had to be really good if the movie was highly recommended. The end was TERRIBLE! I could have written a much more compelling plot for this movie and found some half-talented actors and this would have been a good movie. Instead, I was stuck watching a bunch of no-talent ass-clowns act out a terrible script. Boo urns.